reflections on starting a new job

reflections on starting a new job

i thought i could never have a job interview again. and then i did.

i thought i would never be hired again. and then i was.

i thought i couldn’t tell my boss about my mental illness. and then i did.

i thought that i was the only one. and then i wasn’t.

i thought i couldn’t make it through one entire workday. and then i did.

i thought i couldn’t make it through the next one. i did that too.

i thought i couldn’t manage my anxiety and depression while holding down a job. and then i did.

 

i thought i could never be a trusted colleague again. and then i was.

i thought i could never be creative again. and then it came back.

i thought i could never see my colleagues from before my major episode again. and then i did.

i thought i would be judged. i was supported.

i thought i would be consumed with shame. and then i wasn’t.

i thought my old habits would kick in, that i couldn’t handle stress. and then i coped.

i thought that any setback would bring me down again. i got up. i kept going.

i thought i was out of options. i had choices.

i thought my confidence was gone for good. it was inside all along.

i thought my life was over. i’m still here.

i thought i would fail. i thought that i would fail. i thought that i would fail.

and then i flew.

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