A while ago, I wrote a letter on my blog to my high school bullies. Even if they would never read it, it was incredibly cathartic for me to write and put out there and lots of you actually emailed me to say you had been through the same or were currently going through the same thing.
It was so genuinely nice to talk to people who have had similar experiences, as back then I couldn’t talk to anyone about it.
Today though, I want to reach out to those of you that are being bullied in school right now because I have something to share with you…
The bullies at my school started teasing me very early, as early as primary school (I would have been around 6 when it started) and it continued into high school. All of my bullies were different, I didn’t have just one group of bullies throughout my school days, it was several. Due to that, I felt the things they were saying about me and things they were doing to me was justified. I figured that if all these people think there’s something about me worth bullying, then it must be true because that many kids can’t be wrong.
Do you want to know the reasons they gave me for teasing me, calling me names and physically assaulting me?
I wore glasses Speccy-four-eyes was a common ‘alternative name’ that I was given but the name calling didn’t bother me so much, it was the kids who took my glasses from my face and threw them around the class so I couldn’t see that pissed me off more than anything.
What happened a couple of years after I left school? Glasses became popular and hipster and every kid I went to school with started donning a pair of glasses with no prescription just to look “cool”.
I was a “Geek”
Apparently wearing glasses and being quiet made me a geek and even though, I’m probably more of a geek now, it was a bit of a silly thing to be picked on for. Especially since Geek has now become a popular thing to want to be. I blame Big Bang Theory and the very same hipster glasses look I mentioned above but every.fucking.stupid.kid that bullied me in high school now claims to be a “Geek” because they like marvel films/read “all the harry potter films”/watches a BBC documentary now and again. It actually amuses me how so many people who picked on me, are desperate to be labelled a geek.
I had black hair and pale skin
Yep. That got me bullied a lot actually, ’cause obviously having natural black hair and pale skin is creepy and having a dark tan and blonde hair is totally fucking normal for someone who lives in bloody North Wales! I was called all sorts of shit for having black hair but in all honesty my favourite nickname was ‘Morticia’ because while my dearest bullies thought this was insulting, I took it as a compliment. Moticia is cool AF.
What happened just before I left school though? Oh yes. Black hair became popular and one of the girls who taunted me all through school decided to dye her hair black.
I had a “Satanic” music taste
This was pretty funny actually and by this point, I’d gotten to a place where I was able to laugh off a lot of things that were being said to me because at least I KNEW they were ridiculous. I listened to rock and metal and back then, the chavs of my high school just couldn’t wrap their head around it. It was a non-school uniform day once and I was dressed in my baggy jeans and fish net gloves and one of the kids had heard I was going to a Linkin Park concert that night and tried to tell everyone I was a Satanist… proving they didn’t understand Satanism OR Linkin Park. I mean, it was Linkin Park for flip sake. Imagine if they’d heard the rest of my favourite bands? I think if I’d played them Dimmu Borgir they would have shit themselves.
But true to fashion, who do I see posting RIP’s to Chester Bennington of Linkin Park a few weeks back? Yes, the kids who bullied me at school. Apparently they had been “long time fans”.
I was also told that I was ugly and fat etc. but then had the same guys that said those nasty things to me in high school, trying to hit on me a few years later!
The point I’m trying to make is, bullies will find ANY reason to hurt someone – It’s NOT YOU! They just want someone to punish, it’s got nothing to do with who you are or what you look like and you’ll probably find out just like I did, that the same things you’re being bullied for, your bullies will end up doing or liking eventually anyway as soon as it becomes “mainstream” and you’ll definitely find that the things you’re being bullied for, will be something that someone will ADORE you for one day.
Don’t give them the power that they desperately want by believing their bullshit because they don’t deserve it. They don’t deserve to take away your self-esteem and your confidence because they won’t be in your lives forever and even if they are for some reason, one day you will be in a much better position than they will and you’ll realise that whatever they may have said to you in the past, holds no weight in the real world.
Do you know what I did to get back at them? I made something of myself despite them. I became successful. I chose to be happy… and that is the best revenge you can ask for and soon, you’ll get to experience that. I just know it. So just tell them to go f*jgasgks**k themselves <3